Tag: Children

Guest Post: If My Work All Day Goes Unnoticed, Did It Really Matter?

~ Evan Lenow ~ 2 Comments

This is a guest post from my wife, Melanie. She originally wrote this post for Biblical Woman, the blog site for the Women’s Programs at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. The post originally appeared here.

We all know the age-old question, “If a tree falls in the middle of the forest, does it make any noise?” What is really being asked is this, “If something happens and a person does not see it, did it really happen?” Many days, this is a question that is unconsciously dancing in the back of my mind. As a wife and mom, many things I do are not observed by other people.

If no one sees my work, did I really do anything all day? And does it matter if I metaphorically “fall down” if no one witnesses it? The answer is a resounding YES in God’s eyes!

Even if no one is taking notice, we still have an audience of one.

Our culture presents a great temptation to constantly perform for others. The increased use of social media in the last few years has only heightened it. Everyone wants to stand out, be noticed, speak up, and have a voice. If we fade into the crowd, get overlooked, are ignored, or are silenced, we become discouraged and begin to believe that whatever we are doing must not matter. However, in God’s economy, the exact opposite is true.

All throughout Scripture, God shows favor on the unnoticed one. He uses the meek or common to make an extraordinary impact.

One of the greatest examples is the contrast set up between King Saul and King David. When Saul is first described, it is in comparison to other men. “There was not a more handsome person than he among the children of Israel. From his shoulders upward, he was taller than any of the people”  (1 Sam 9:2). Saul was a man that others noticed. However, in regard to his heart before God, Samuel describes it as rebellious and stubborn and declares, “because you have rejected the word of the Lord, He also has rejected you from being king” (1 Sam 15:23).

Saul received the praise of men, but was rejected by God.

In contrast, when God chooses David to be king, he is lowly in comparison to his brothers. The fact that God had to instruct Samuel to “not look at his appearance or at his physical stature” (1 Sam 16:7) reveals that David might not have been too impressive in those categories. On the stage among peers, David might have been overlooked.

However, God is an audience of one, and he notices the heart and takes heed of actions and attitudes that go completely unnoticed by others. 

David wrote many of the Psalms from the inside of a cave as he ran and hid from Saul. No one was there to hear his words. It was only him crying out to God. Alone. Now, let’s use the proverbial question at the beginning of this article, “If David cried out in a cave alone in the wilderness, did anyone hear him?” According to scripture, the answer is YES God heard him. God heard him and thought that David’s raw emotions and words were so powerful that He saw it fit to place them in Scripture as a testimony for all eternity of how we too can cry out to God in the deepest and darkest places.

In college, I had the privilege of studying under Dr. Les Hughes who is now the pastor of Highview Baptist Church in Louisville, KY. He wrote a book called, The Sound of God’s Applause that has been very powerful in my life and in the life of my husband.  In one of his chapters, he asks several questions that encourage the reader to reflect on the question “Am I seeking the approval of people?” As I have read through those questions many times, I am constantly convicted about how much stock I put in other’s opinions of me.

I have found that, as my desire to please others increases, my concern over pleasing God decreases. As I put more and more stock in what others know of me, I put less and less importance on how God deeply knows me.

Even if no one else sees the work or deeds that I do, God sees.

Even deeper, He sees the attitude of my heart. I want to learn to truly serve others, expecting nothing in return.  I desire to be content in doing good deeds, not for the applause of men, but for the pleasure of my Father.  It does not matter if no one else takes notice; it is God’s applause that I crave.

Guest Post: If Paul Were on Facebook

~ Evan Lenow

Facebook LogoThis is a guest post from my wife, Melanie. She originally wrote this post for Biblical Woman, the blog site for the Women’s Programs at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. The post originally appeared here.

Vaccines. Education choices for our children. What we eat, what we don’t eat. Working moms, stay at home moms. Attachment parenting, Baby-Wise.  Dating versus courtship. These words alone can make a woman’s blood begin to simmer without her even realizing it. They are the same things that make up what popular culture calls the “mommy wars.” Every woman has an opinion on these issues and no two women are completely in agreement.

Let’s just face it, ladies. We all think we are right and we have the articles to prove it.

But as sisters in Christ, the battles shouldn’t be between us, for if we use all of our ammunition on each other, we have none left to fight the spiritual battles of this world.

In Rome, during the times of Paul’s writings, the believers were under strong persecution.  They were fighting for their lives, struggling for the ability to worship freely, and all the while sharing with non-believers the beautiful saving grace of Jesus Christ. It would be fair to say that they had to be on guard at all times against the enemy.

However, the believers were fighting another type of battle. One that wasn’t even necessary. Romans 14:2 and 5 say, “For one believes he may eat all things (meaning meat likely sacrificed to idols), and he who is weak eats only vegetables…. One person esteems one day above another; another esteems every day alike.” The Christians in Rome were disagreeing over what to eat and when to worship. At the time, these two issues were not paramount in God’s eyes and only causing strife and discord among the believers.

While we no longer argue over these issues, Romans 14 speaks volumes to all of us who find ourselves caught up bantering back and forth on issues that are not of eternal significance.  

Paul has given us four things to consider before we enter into disagreements with other Christians on hot topic issues.

  1. Check Your Attitude: Before Paul even gets going in chapter 14, he says in 13:13-14, “Let us walk properly…not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.” When I see someone post something on social media that I disagree with, it is imperative that I immediately die to my flesh and not allow the door to open to strife. There is enough fighting all around us that we, as believers, do not need to join in the noise. “Blessed are the peacemakers.” Jesus says in Matthew 5:9. If our only goal is to argue, Paul calls that fulfilling the lusts of our flesh. That goal is not fitting for a child of God.
  2. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: Paul goes on to instruct in Romans 14:1, “Receive one who is weak in the faith, but not to disputes over doubtful things.” Paul is telling the believers who ate meat to receive (fellowship with) those who only ate vegetables and not to argue with them about it. Most of us believe that whoever agrees with us is strong in the faith and those who disagree with us are weak. Out of our own arrogance, we consider ourselves the plumb line to spiritual strength. However, I love how the Holman Christian Standard Bible says in its study notes: “The believer who is weak in the faith is overly conscientious about matters not regulated by Christian revelation.” Are you overly concerned with proving your point on issues that aren’t paramount to the Christian faith? I understand that, as women, we must make up our minds about certain topics. It is important that we, along with our husbands, make decisions as to how our family works.  However, where scripture does not have clear lines, we must also give grace freely to our sisters who might choose differently from us.  Within our friendships, there is vast opportunity to encourage, love, and support. Let us discuss those topics on Facebook. Let us tweet out those announcements. Paul describes it this way in verse 19, “Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another.
  3. Everyone’s Convictions Are between Themselves and the Lord: “He who observes the day, observes it to the Lord; and he who does not observe the day, to the Lord he does not observe it. He who eats, eats to the Lord, for he gives God thanks; and he who does not eat, to the Lord he does not eat, and gives God thanks” (Romans 14:6). Our God is a personal God, and He desires to have a personal relationship with us. Within that wonderful, personal relationship, we have a great privilege to come before the Lord in prayer and humility and ask Him to guide us in certain choices. Just like Solomon, if we ask for wisdom, God will give it to us. I remember when my son was just a newborn. We were trying to make decisions about vaccines and there were millions of voices out there trying to tell us to what to do. We tried to gain wisdom from our doctors and family, but it seemed like everyone we asked gave us a conflicting opinion from the one before. Finally, just Evan and I discussed it and prayed for wisdom from God, and we made our decision. There will always be people that disagree with us, but we know we came to the best decision for our family after seeking the Lord’s wisdom.
  4. Being right is not the ultimate goal: Our culture celebrates personal liberty. We are free to say anything we desire, especially in the world of social media. However, as believers, we must bind this liberty with the law of love. Paul admits to the Roman believers that, in regard to the meat they were discussing, nothing was unclean. However, if someone had a personal conviction and considered it unclean, to him it is unclean. He explains in verse 15, “Yet if your brother is grieved because of your food, you are no longer walking in love. Do not destroy with your food the one for whom Christ died.” Paul is saying that if someone has a personal conviction about an issue, it is not our job to argue with them or flaunt our freedoms. You might win the argument, but you have also destroyed a fellow sister in Christ.

If Paul were on Facebook, he would still be calling us to walk in love. Love is patient and love is kind…even on Facebook.

Good Reading: The Culture of Death Bares its Teeth

~ Evan Lenow

Albert Mohler, president of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, posted an interesting article regarding a recent admission by Cecile Richards, president of Planned Parenthood, regarding her belief about when life begins. Richards was interviewed on Fusion TV and was asked when she believes that life begins. After dodging the question initially, Richards stated:

For me, I’m the mother of three children. For me, life began when I delivered them. They’ve been probably the most important thing in my life ever since. But that was my own personal decision.

Mohler then comments on her admission by stating:

So life begins at delivery. Until then, no life, no dignity, no sanctity at all. This defies any moral sense, but it also defies modern biology. Cecile Richards did not try to argue the now infamous trimester argument of Roe v. Wade or a point of viability or any other argument about fetal development. As her comment makes clear, in her worldview the fetus doesn’t matter at all.

She identified her three children as “probably the most important thing in my life” since their delivery. Were they nothing to her in her womb? Each of those three precious children was precious in the womb — at every point of development.

Candid admissions of a worldview like this one are rare, but Cecile Richards’ statement perfectly explains her advocacy of abortion at any time for any reason. In her interview the Culture of Death bares its teeth.

Mohler’s analysis is helpful, and this short article is well worth your time. Read the entire article here.

_________________________

Albert Mohler, “The Culture of Death Bares its Teeth: Planned Parenthood Leader Says Life Begins at Delivery,” AlbertMohler.com, March 3, 2014.

Good Reading: The Rights of Children: Biology Matters

~ Evan Lenow

There is an interesting article on the Public Discourse regarding anonymous gamete donation and the rights of children to know their biological parents. Here are some of the highlights:

Now that many children conceived with the help of donor sperm or eggs have reached adulthood, many of these donor-conceived adults have claimed a right to know their biological parents. This phenomenon has led a number of European countries to outlaw gamete donation. Even in places where anonymous donation remains legal, such as the United States, there is a growing trend toward the use of non-anonymous donors. This shift away from the use of anonymous gamete donors parallels the shift toward greater openness in adoption, and it marks an increasing recognition that knowledge of one’s biological origins and contact with one’s biological parents when possible are important for human well-being.

This recognition points to a more fundamental critique of donor conception. Indeed, the basic premise of arguments against anonymous gamete donation—the recognition that children have a fundamental interest in knowing their biological parents—implies that conceiving children with donor gametes is always morally problematic, even when the donor is not anonymous, because it always involves conceiving children with the intention of depriving them of a parental relationship with (at least) one of their progenitors. Thus, it is different from the usual case of adoption, in which a child already exists; putting a child up for adoption is an attempt to give that child the best possible care in non-ideal circumstances.

After further explaining her premise, the author provides the following scenario to illustrate her point:

Amanda and Arnold are in desperate need of money. Amanda learns of a local fertility clinic that is offering generous compensation for participation in a study on the effectiveness of fertility treatments. Amanda and Arnold decide to participate in the study, foreseeing that Amanda will most likely become pregnant as a result. If conception does occur, they plan to give the child up for adoption as soon as he or she is born, because their financial situation would make it impossible for them to care for the child adequately.

This case seems to be the exact moral equivalent of what egg and sperm donors do. Just like Amanda and Arnold, donors knowingly perform actions that will most likely lead to their becoming biological parents, while having no intention of raising their offspring themselves. If we think that Amanda and Arnold’s actions are wrong, we should also think that the actions of gamete donors are wrong, and for precisely the same reason: a child has a prima facie right to be raised by his biological parents, based on the absolute right to be loved by his biological parents.

The entire article is worth your time and can be found at here at the Public Discourse.

_________________________

Melissa Moschella, “The Rights of Children: Biology Matters,” The Public Discourse, February 20, 2014.

Guest Post: What’s “Naughty or Nice” Got to Do with It?

~ Evan Lenow

This is a guest post from my wife, Melanie. She originally wrote this post for Biblical Woman, the blog site for the Women’s Programs at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. The post originally appeared here.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God.” (Eph 2:8)

I love this time of year! Love everything about it! If you read my last post, you will understand that my feelings toward the Christmas season are the exact opposite from my thoughts of that last day of October. I love the music, the smells, even the craziness of all the parties. Being a mommy at Christmas time is like being a tour guide at some magnificent destination. I get the privilege of guiding them to experience all the wonderful sights, sounds, smells, and activities of the season. Sometimes we focus on a favorite tradition my husband or I had growing up or sometimes we create our own new traditions. I enjoy the millions of questions that surface in the awestruck mind of a child. However, I have noticed a question arising more and more in the last few years, not necessarily with my own children, but with our culture as a whole. It has nothing to do with “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays.” It is the question of “Have you been good this year?”

Oh, I know. It’s just a saying. We’ve all said it without any real meaning behind it. However, through the marketing and merchandise around us, I believe this idea is creeping into our hearts and minds more and more.  Many of you know of a little elf that you can pretend watches your kids to make sure they are being good. Even in the Christian circles, merchandise has been created to encourage our kids to be good this time of year. If not, they will find switches and ashes in their stocking. Of course, many dismiss it as part of the make-believe game we play with our children at Christmas.

However, I would argue it is more dangerous than that. The danger comes from the fact that it preaches a different gospel. In the New Testament, Paul marveled that the church in Galatia was “turning away so soon from Him who called you in the grace of Christ, to a different gospel” (Galatians 1:6). Even then, the people of Galatia were turning away from a gospel of grace to a different gospel of works. The Gospel of Christmas is that God loved us so much, He sent his only Son and all we have to do is believe in Him and He will grant us eternal life (John 3:16). Ephesians says, “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God.” (Ephesians 2:8) The gift of Christ is a gift not based on our works. There is no naughty or nice list in Heaven where, if we have more checks on the nice side, we get the gift. The gift of Christ is given to us simply because God loves us and desires a relationship with us for His glory.

In light of this, I want to challenge myself to remove this false gospel from my vocabulary and most of all from my heart. How do I approach giving gifts this Christmas? Do I do it out of obligation? I truly desire my attitude of gift giving to be one that reflects the same attitude of God. I want to give out of an overflow of the incredible gift that God has already given to me. Most importantly, I want to love this Christmas in an unconditional way, expecting nothing in return, but pointing the object of my love back to my Savior who loved me so. What if my 4-year-old throws a fit that goes 10.0 on the Richter scale because he didn’t get the right color cup on Christmas morning? Am I going to be just as joyful about giving him gifts as I would be if he had been an angel? What about that family member who rubs you the wrong way? Will you buy her a present out of obligation or will you see it as a way to minister to her and show her the unconditional love that comes only from Christ? This Christmas, may we give our loved ones gifts not because they were nice to us, but because the greatest Gift-giver loved us so to give us Jesus.

As we talk with our children, let us make it absolutely clear that receiving gifts has nothing to do with their works, but has everything to do with celebrating the greatest Gift of all. None of us deserve the Gift of Christmas, “but God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us,” (Ephesians 2:4) gave us the most wonderful gift of all.